Can't believe that July is about half gone. Weather sure has been different. Not actually cold, but cool. Lot of dark days and rain around here. Other parts of the country is getting triple digit weather and has been for a month. It's all this El Nino and El Nina weather that hasn't been able to make up it's mind what to do. Maybe if the names were changed to Bebe and Comely, or something like that, the weather would straighten itself up. You know, like the old saying goes, It's all in a name. Maybe that's not right, but it's something like that. Anyway, the weather we've been having sure hasn't been good for growing veggies. Hey, I add all the good stuff to the soil but mine are still struggling. Haven't been out and about to see how other crops are doing, but I doubt they are thriving like they should be. Veggies that are being grown in green houses should be doing great with the heat they can get from being protected from this cool weather.
   My poor rosebush gets a bloom and it's gone withing a couple of days. Had one beautiful rose, but we had a full week of sunshine and above 80 degrees. Weather man keeps saying sun is on it's way, I'm wondering in which month it will get here. Will probably have summer weather around Thanksgiving. Oh well. Next year will probably be different. Never know anymore.
   I'm still being a selfish person and wanting some room to move around and be productive inside and out. Went to see the chickens. Opossum got one of my little ones. Got some of daughters too. Someone didn't close up the coop tight. It's sad, but it happens. They also lost some new bunny babies. Not to critters though. Farming is hard work, and you can't just whiz through things. I don't care if you have 1/4 acre or 300. It still needs to be done the best that you can do. The way I learned was listening to other farmers and what they did for this or that. I used to go to the livestock auctions so I could learn, and wasn't afraid to ask questions. Of course some looked at me like I was a complete idiot, but most was very nice about sharing their experiences. That was a life time ago though. ( I was young and cute and got lots of smiles. Now that I'm old I don't go anywhere to ask questions, 'cause the looks I get are of "that crazy old lady, don't she know anything.)HA HA.--- Anyway,  Experience was the key to raising everything. Now everyone just wants to look on their computer for answers. Which, I must say, is not always the best solution.
    Yeah, yeah, I know I'm old fashion. but you have to remember that science has been making terrible mistakes for several years, and no one is notified until it's to late to rectify their mistakes. Science is a good thing, but I'll still follow most of the old ways until they don't work for me anymore. Then I'll try something new. I will still use the internet to look up something, then I re-search more and more. Not every site will say the same thing.
  I'm just rambling on and on. If I don't keep my mind busy I'll just get depressed and want to eat or sleep, or maybe both. Glad to say that that doesn't happen very often. It's more that I feel, 'why bother' now. With that I think I'll stop and get a donut and a glass of milk
Have a great day,,,,week,,,,, month.

Time sure fly's fast. It's been a month since I wrote here. Sometimes I have a lot to say, other times I just think a lot.
      Got hooked on an agriculture site on FB. It's mostly about women, their farm, ranches, animals, family, and other things that hold women together. Yes, I know, I don't have a farm, but I have had. My heart is still on one. I don't think my own family realizes how much I miss it. I know I would have to have some help now, even with butchering, but I still could do most of the work. I just can't do heavy stuff or much raking with my back the way it is, but I would try, and eventually I'd get it done. I know what I want, and how to raise it. I might be a little old fashion on a lot of it, but I know my way works. And like the saying goes, If it works, don't change it. Or is it, If it's not broken, don't try to fix it. Either way, my way is the happy way. (for me anyway).
     I can always visit my daughters little farm. Visit with the chicken, talk to the sheep, work in the garden and anything else I want to do, BUT...it's not mine. They do things their way. Of course it's a good way, but it's not always my way. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm just being, stubborn. Some people would say I need to accept and embrace the situation. I do, but I'm not always happy in my heart, and in my soul.
    I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way. Many do, and they are stuck in a time and place that they have no control over. I'm great-full that I'm not sickly, and am able to live by myself. Many can't, but there are those that could if they had a little help, but family thinks they are to old, strips them of their life, dignity, their possessions, sticks them into a "home" thinking it's best for them. They never ask, "What do you want?" If they do, they laugh, and say, "You're to old to do that," or "it wouldn't be good for you," or give some other excuse. I guess when a person reaches a certain age, they don't suppose to know what they want or what's good for them.
     Personally, I need my freedom. If I want to buy chocolate ice cream, I'll buy it. I don't need someone wrinkling up their nose about it. Yes, that's an exaggeration, but I think you get the drift. Sometimes a facial expression, or an Innocent comment can do a lot of damage to a person. Some of us can pass it off, but so many can't. When you can't you feel like you are being reprimanded like you were a little child. I see this happening to many when I go shopping. Sometimes it's deliberate, sometime it's not.
    What do I want or what will make me happier? I'd like, maybe 1/4 acre, fenced, able to raise a few chickens, ducks, couple geese, couple turkeys, have a small garden area. and no real close neighbor. I like the solitude and not being bothered. I'm a writer, and need my 'space'. I probably could be a hermit, and be happy. My house should be two bedrooms so I could use one for crafts and etc but not big. Decent size kitchen, ( I don't like to go looking for something I need to cook or bake with). And No carpets on the floor. Need lots of windows for natural light, and room for my house plants. Would be nice to have carport or garage too. I like to work with wood sometimes, and need a place for my material and saws. Is this sounding like a lot? It's really not. Anyway I don't think so.
    If you are reading this, you probably thing, this person is nuts. Yeah, maybe I am. But it's just me and this is my blog, so I can say pretty much what I want.
   With that I think I'll end this and try to get something else done.
    Have a good day.
   
   

Here it is, another Mother's Day sneaking up. Should be happy but I don't seem to feel that way. Maybe I'm just getting old. Ha ha. I am.
Do you ever get the feeling of, I want to say depression, but it's really not. It's just a ho-hum mood I guess.
Not really happy the way things are going, but not sad. So hard to put a word or two on the way a person feels when they feel this way. Maybe I''m just not happy with myself. I think I should be doing more than I do, but then I think...Why. Guess I've always been that way. Never had it easy, had to do most everything myself, or if it's done, it's not done the way I think it should be. A perfectionist? No. Not hardly. I just think it should be more my way. Sounds weird huh.
My mind generally goes a million miles a minute, that's why I decided to blog. Hoping that I can clear some of the cobwebs from my brain. And get something going that's on a clear path.
Been trying to write something about my life. Think it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. It' is just sitting in my mind right now. Have a few notes on paper, but not enough to come to any conclusion or where to start. Already know the ending, or should say to date, but I can't seem to start from the beginning. Maybe I don't know where the beginning is. Will keep working on it.
Went to the poultry auction couple of weeks ago. have four chicks to care for. Do you ever think animals are your answer to life? Sometimes I do. It's kind of a mixed emotion. I need animals around me. But then sometimes I wonder what the heck I'm doing. Why do I want to tie myself down. Guess in some ways I need to concentrate on something beside myself and my personal problems. Other times I'd like to take a weeks vacation, but then I have my animals to care for. Actually they keep me sane and relaxed most of the time. It's really a toss up what to do.
Do you think I may be two people? Not really two different personalities, but one person living in two different time periods at once. Has anyone else ever had this problem? I wonder.
One thing I know I need to keep my sanity is ROOM. I need room to stretch out my things where I can find anything when I need it. If I have to move this or that to find it, I get frustrated and give up for awhile. Then another time, I want it again and go looking. Sometimes I give up, sometimes I keep trying to find it, but if I do, I soon lose interest. And I need to be able to see whats around me. No, not just look around, but literally see as far as I can without something in the way. Wide open spaces with nothing in sight. Makes my soul feel free I think. Go for the Gusto, do it, I guess I should be thinking, but hey, my brain isn't wired that way, it's to realistic but sometimes it miss-fires.
I think I have always lived in two time periods, and that's why I'm so confused all the time.
Crazy? Yeah, maybe. But I still like being me. I am unique, I doubt that there are many like me. I just wish I could come to some kind of a decision that would make my mind happier.
BL

Sorry everyone, I have been so negligent with blogging that I just haven't done it.
Hopefully I will try to write something once a week from now on. Well, lets say at least once a month to be safe.

I have been reading and listening to all the pros and cons on our up coming election. I'm not very happy with what has been going on, and I imagine you aren't either. One thing I know for sure, our government is taking as much advantage of us as it possibly can. No help for our Vets that have given part of their lives to help us be a free nation. No help for the senior, senior, (yes I meant to say it twice), citizens who worked all their lives to be able to live off of their retirement. Retirement you say. Yes. Money was taken out of each check and (was suppose to have) put into a trust that draws interest (Like a savings account) for our later years. But what happened? Congress, our politicians got greedy and decided that the money would benefit them more if they used it. (Who would know anyway, old people aren't smart enough to miss it, and would be probably be dead before they reached the age to get it). BUT, Congress needs a raise Now. And more money to travel on, and better schools for their kids and grand kids, and more security to keep them safe, and another house or two and the best health doctors and health care, and of course the best food and clothes money can buy. Oh, almost forgot...Vacations, just have to have longer vacations that the people pay for and the shorter the work week, the better.
I'm not saying that all came from social security, but to begin with it did. Now our government is taking from anyone and everyone it can. They are getting greedier day by day. Do they care about anyone outside of their precious circle?? NO, of course not.
And what's up with all these (so called) refugees that our president wants to support. HOW? Where is this money coming from? Is he going to personally sponsor them? If you think yes, you are out of your mind. He is taking YOUR hard earned money for those that don't support our country, our laws, our flag or anything else. Now don't go off in a tissy, Not all are like that. I think there is good in most people, but the ones that don't care are making it hard for the one's that do care and want to make America their home.
You know, at one time, I would have voted for Hillary, but she has changed. Sometimes I think she is scared of our present president and HIS people. What she Used to be against she is now doing. Bernie? well I think he has some great ideas, but his age>>>Yes his age. Who would take over if he couldn't finish his term? (Hey, him and I are the same age, so yeah, I wonder). I have kids, and grand kids that I worry about. I want them to have food on the table, a place to live and be safe. Sorry, but I don't think I would vote for Mr. Cruz, he reminds me to much of grandpa on the Munsters.
I think the American people should really start thinking of tomorrow. Not what they can get for free today. Just take a good look around you. Idiots, are trying to change our History. Our young people cry if they see something they don't like. "It offends them", Damn, a lot of things offends me but I'm not crying about it and I certainly don't need to be counselled every time I don't like something. Have more to say, but am going to stop here for awhile. Will finish later...........