November, can you believe it. Weather having trouble trying to figure out what to do. I think it has decided to lean towards winter though. Mornings and evenings getting cooler every day.
I have been concentrating on writing more and more. Sometime I'm not able to get anything down on paper, but it's banging around in my head. Yes, it is possible. Especially in mine. It's alright to laugh. Go ahead, I really don't mind.
Woke up the other morning at 2 am, just couldn't get a story out of my head. Wrote bits and pieces down. Now I need to fill in all the blanks. That's the hard part of writing.
Also, been fooling around with a story about the Dust Bowl Years. Of course it will have a special twist to it from my point of view. You will just have to wait to find out what it is.
Another one that I've been working on for a few months, no, at least a year, anyway, it will be about the storm that Washington had and the after mat of what happened. The story is based in Bay Center, a little town by highway 101, on the Willapa River and the Pacific Ocean. (Just added that part in case there are those that has never heard of the Willapa). Anyway, gee, I say that a lot, huh. Oh well, This story will have a few twist and turns that only my mind and imagination can visualize.
I've been thinking about publishing for e-books, it is so much faster than trying to use some big publisher that will take months to read, then if they decide they like it, it takes another year or so for it to come out in print. Most won't take the time to read from an 'unknown' no matter how good it is. BUT, if you have some kind of a name, status, popularity, or what ever...no matter how bad, they print within a couple of months. Well, maybe not quite that quick, but you get the idea.
I did a 'self published" a few years ago. Wasn't happy with the printing. Sentences were skipped and dropped, Also thought I would get some kind of cover, but was just green. But its OK, I learned something. I am re-writing it to be re-published.
In the meantime, I will continue to write what comes into my head, and hopefully finish the stories that I have started. Might even put a few on this blog.
Hope all enjoys what the read.
Take care
B.Anna Lee
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Another month just about gone. 2015 is getting closer and closer. I have asked before but never got any answers, Where does the time go??.
I don't think anyone actually knows. Even with all the modern gadgets, and so called time consuming activities being made easier, I really don't think the inventors of saving time realized that it took time to get set to save time. Does that make sense? It does to me, but I know what I mean.
I have been writing. Really I have. But again---it takes time. I can't remember the time that I could just sit down to write without getting disturbed one way or another. The dog wants out, or in, the cat wants out, or in, or they want fed, or water. Or I get hungry and have to find something to eat. Or realize that I want another cup of coffee. Maybe the bed needs made, or I really should get a load of clothes washed. Oh, can't forget to vacuum. Even if it doesn't get done at the time I think about it, I know I need to be doing it. Just that throws my train of thought off.
Just don't know what to do to keep my mind on what I really need to be doing. But then again, I haven't figured out just what I should be doing. Maybe I will get it figured out. Sure hope so.
Winter is just around the corner. Have had little heater on a couple of times, not for very long as it generally warms up during the afternoon. Today was just the opposite. Was warm this morning, cold towards evening. Will get regulated in a couple of weeks. Maybe.
Can't think of anything else right now, so will put this away. The mind just might be willing to work better next time.
Thanks for reading this.
B. Anna Lee
I don't think anyone actually knows. Even with all the modern gadgets, and so called time consuming activities being made easier, I really don't think the inventors of saving time realized that it took time to get set to save time. Does that make sense? It does to me, but I know what I mean.
I have been writing. Really I have. But again---it takes time. I can't remember the time that I could just sit down to write without getting disturbed one way or another. The dog wants out, or in, the cat wants out, or in, or they want fed, or water. Or I get hungry and have to find something to eat. Or realize that I want another cup of coffee. Maybe the bed needs made, or I really should get a load of clothes washed. Oh, can't forget to vacuum. Even if it doesn't get done at the time I think about it, I know I need to be doing it. Just that throws my train of thought off.
Just don't know what to do to keep my mind on what I really need to be doing. But then again, I haven't figured out just what I should be doing. Maybe I will get it figured out. Sure hope so.
Winter is just around the corner. Have had little heater on a couple of times, not for very long as it generally warms up during the afternoon. Today was just the opposite. Was warm this morning, cold towards evening. Will get regulated in a couple of weeks. Maybe.
Can't think of anything else right now, so will put this away. The mind just might be willing to work better next time.
Thanks for reading this.
B. Anna Lee
Friday, October 3, 2014
October, Fall is definitely in the air. Even put a little heat on for an hour this morning.
So, is everyone ready for Halloween? Or do you still go trick-or-treating? Used to go with my kids. Was fun. And I even got treats. Some were strictly for adults. Ah...Those were the days.
I remember the last Halloween I had as a young person. I was 13. Hey, a bunch of us, dressed up, and went to houses that had known us for years. It was in California. Nights were still nice. My friends Dody, Norma, and I dressed up like Hula girls. Couple of the guys in the neighborhood dressed as sailors. After walking Norma home, she lived the farthest, Dody and I went home, we lived across the street from each other. Two of the boys walked with us. Well, you could have heard my mother screaming at me from California to Washington. She threatened to put me in a girls home. Yes, she thought they were real sailors. Of course she didn't believe that they were just friends from school. I think she finally found out though. It's funny now, but sure wasn't back then.
After I grew up, I dressed up for Halloween all the time. One year, when my hair was real long, I fixed it into a beard and mu stash. Went to wear my sister-in-law worked. She didn't even recognize me. Another year I dressed up as Mortisia Adams. Oh yes, I had the figure to go with it. LOL.Went to the kids school like that. Teachers and kids loved it. Was always doing stuff like that. See...good things come out of bad sooner or later. Had a house like the Adam's Family's one time. Well, not quite, but was an old house. Had it decorated with old torn curtains, and other weird stuff. I stayed up stairs until kids came to the door, when someone opened it, I ran down the stairs screaming. Had old sheer curtains on, so I looked like a ghost. Poor kids used to drop their candy and run. We'd have to chase them and give their candy back.
Don't think people enjoy the holidays like we used to. They are to involved with their TV's and other 'toys'. They never see what goes on around them or the fun they can have.
I don't do it anymore. No, its not the 'toy's' or TV. My body just won't let me go running down stairs or the street anymore. But all of you that aren't as old as I am, have kids, or good friends, just get out there and enjoy yourselves. The years go by fast enough, if you don't enjoy them now, you will wake up one of these days, and say...Where did time go. And then it will be to late.
Again, thanks for reading my brainstorms,
Never stop reading, there is so much out there to learn and enjoy.
B. Anna Lee
So, is everyone ready for Halloween? Or do you still go trick-or-treating? Used to go with my kids. Was fun. And I even got treats. Some were strictly for adults. Ah...Those were the days.
I remember the last Halloween I had as a young person. I was 13. Hey, a bunch of us, dressed up, and went to houses that had known us for years. It was in California. Nights were still nice. My friends Dody, Norma, and I dressed up like Hula girls. Couple of the guys in the neighborhood dressed as sailors. After walking Norma home, she lived the farthest, Dody and I went home, we lived across the street from each other. Two of the boys walked with us. Well, you could have heard my mother screaming at me from California to Washington. She threatened to put me in a girls home. Yes, she thought they were real sailors. Of course she didn't believe that they were just friends from school. I think she finally found out though. It's funny now, but sure wasn't back then.
After I grew up, I dressed up for Halloween all the time. One year, when my hair was real long, I fixed it into a beard and mu stash. Went to wear my sister-in-law worked. She didn't even recognize me. Another year I dressed up as Mortisia Adams. Oh yes, I had the figure to go with it. LOL.Went to the kids school like that. Teachers and kids loved it. Was always doing stuff like that. See...good things come out of bad sooner or later. Had a house like the Adam's Family's one time. Well, not quite, but was an old house. Had it decorated with old torn curtains, and other weird stuff. I stayed up stairs until kids came to the door, when someone opened it, I ran down the stairs screaming. Had old sheer curtains on, so I looked like a ghost. Poor kids used to drop their candy and run. We'd have to chase them and give their candy back.
Don't think people enjoy the holidays like we used to. They are to involved with their TV's and other 'toys'. They never see what goes on around them or the fun they can have.
I don't do it anymore. No, its not the 'toy's' or TV. My body just won't let me go running down stairs or the street anymore. But all of you that aren't as old as I am, have kids, or good friends, just get out there and enjoy yourselves. The years go by fast enough, if you don't enjoy them now, you will wake up one of these days, and say...Where did time go. And then it will be to late.
Again, thanks for reading my brainstorms,
Never stop reading, there is so much out there to learn and enjoy.
B. Anna Lee
Sunday, September 21, 2014
This is unusual for me, 3 posts in one month.
I have been editing and editing. Have Eyes of the Whirlwind done, and thought I was almost done with Legacy of Time, but found about 50 pages, in the middle, missing. Oh they are here, somewhere. If not I have the book. OK, let me explain.
A few years ago I 'self-published' under Barbara Lee, and was printed by a well known self-publisher. Of course it thrilled me to see my book in print, but...first of all, I thought I would have a nice cover, you know, with a picture and all, but it was just a basic green, which i said I wanted, but didn't realize that they meant the whole cover. Also found many misspelled words, dropped down sentences and etc. Yes, I edited, and went over with their representative, was told that they also edited. When I saw the dropped down sentences, I mentioned it and was told that it would be taken care of at printing time. I take all responsibility to my mistakes, and some of the words, or lack of, but that is all.
All that bought my book loved it, and I received good and bad feed-back which to me, was appreciated.
Now that I have learned a whole lot more about sentences, using the right words, descriptions, and etc, I am re-writing--editing. the book to make it better. And I think it will be. After it is done, I hope to republish it under B Anna Lee. The name, Legacy of Time, will remain the same. I also hope I can find something for the cover, something that will catch the eye of the reader.All rights are mine, except the ISBN, which I could use again IF the publisher would relinquish it, but I doubt that will happen. Might as well just get a new one and let it be. I don't believe in keeping a grudge, but I'll never use the publisher again, and will give my opinion to those that might, but it will be MY opinion. They can make up their own mind.
Oh I imagine if I would have paid $900.00- $1500.00, or more, I would have gotten a better deal, but some people just don't have that kind of money to hand out, no matter how much they want to see their books published. There are many good writers that deserve to be published, but it seems to be IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, you aren't worth the time. Now I have read some of these so called, celebrities that suppose to be writers.....They are lousy writers, (not all, but a lot) but do you notice that if you have a 'NAME' or have MONEY, you are never turned down, AND you don't have to wait to get published, it's almost immediately. That makes the 'good' people think and think before they send to big-named- publishers. I won't name you, you know who you are. Because YOU make the real writers wait and wait, months, sometimes a year or two. Why, because it's a MONEY thing to you.
OK, Yes, it angers me to see whats going on, but I can't stop it, But, I can write about it.
If you are wondering why I decided to change my name....Look it up, there are thousands with my real name. Even a few writers. I'm an individual, so changed to a name that no one else has. Well I hope there isn't any more. I couldn't find any.
I hope all who are reading this have a glorious week, and I hope you will return to see what else this mixed up mind will come up with.
Keep reading
B. Anna Lee
I have been editing and editing. Have Eyes of the Whirlwind done, and thought I was almost done with Legacy of Time, but found about 50 pages, in the middle, missing. Oh they are here, somewhere. If not I have the book. OK, let me explain.
A few years ago I 'self-published' under Barbara Lee, and was printed by a well known self-publisher. Of course it thrilled me to see my book in print, but...first of all, I thought I would have a nice cover, you know, with a picture and all, but it was just a basic green, which i said I wanted, but didn't realize that they meant the whole cover. Also found many misspelled words, dropped down sentences and etc. Yes, I edited, and went over with their representative, was told that they also edited. When I saw the dropped down sentences, I mentioned it and was told that it would be taken care of at printing time. I take all responsibility to my mistakes, and some of the words, or lack of, but that is all.
All that bought my book loved it, and I received good and bad feed-back which to me, was appreciated.
Now that I have learned a whole lot more about sentences, using the right words, descriptions, and etc, I am re-writing--editing. the book to make it better. And I think it will be. After it is done, I hope to republish it under B Anna Lee. The name, Legacy of Time, will remain the same. I also hope I can find something for the cover, something that will catch the eye of the reader.All rights are mine, except the ISBN, which I could use again IF the publisher would relinquish it, but I doubt that will happen. Might as well just get a new one and let it be. I don't believe in keeping a grudge, but I'll never use the publisher again, and will give my opinion to those that might, but it will be MY opinion. They can make up their own mind.
Oh I imagine if I would have paid $900.00- $1500.00, or more, I would have gotten a better deal, but some people just don't have that kind of money to hand out, no matter how much they want to see their books published. There are many good writers that deserve to be published, but it seems to be IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, you aren't worth the time. Now I have read some of these so called, celebrities that suppose to be writers.....They are lousy writers, (not all, but a lot) but do you notice that if you have a 'NAME' or have MONEY, you are never turned down, AND you don't have to wait to get published, it's almost immediately. That makes the 'good' people think and think before they send to big-named- publishers. I won't name you, you know who you are. Because YOU make the real writers wait and wait, months, sometimes a year or two. Why, because it's a MONEY thing to you.
OK, Yes, it angers me to see whats going on, but I can't stop it, But, I can write about it.
If you are wondering why I decided to change my name....Look it up, there are thousands with my real name. Even a few writers. I'm an individual, so changed to a name that no one else has. Well I hope there isn't any more. I couldn't find any.
I hope all who are reading this have a glorious week, and I hope you will return to see what else this mixed up mind will come up with.
Keep reading
B. Anna Lee
Sunday, September 7, 2014
September 7th. Can you believe it? Just three months left to this year.
I don't know about you, but I never dreamed that a 2014 would be in my vocabulary. I never got past the 1900's. How about the ones that are just being born. Wow, won't they be surprised to see a 2019, or maybe even 3000.
And what about all the gadgets that we have. Who would have thought that phones would be so small and you can call anywhere in the world with them. I remember the very rich had phones in their cars, but they were like a house phone. Now you don't even see the phone, just say, hey dial so-and -so. It does. It even shows you where you are going, will park your car, and tells you if a car is close. Wow, oh Wow. Don't even want to get started on what is in homes now. You don't have to cook, just say I want this to eat, and your stove does it for you. I think you still have to put it in/on the stove though. Will have to check that out, but there is so much that is boxed to eat, people are loosing the ability to cook regular meals. Just ask around if you don't believe me.....Hey, do you know how to make biscuits from scratch? They'd answer, I don't have to scratch, If you want a biscuit, just get them from the bakery or out of the refrigerator. Wonder if they know what baking powder is? Probably think its for your face...Oh I hope not.
It really hasn't been that long ago that ringer washers were used. Of course there were no dish washers. Oh my gosh, some would call that the Dark Ages. They were pretty good times though. Families did things together. They would have holidays, birthdays, and just plain get-to-gathers. No one would sit around playing with their phones all day. They would talk to each other, play ball, swim, or just have fun in general. It drives me up a wall to try to talk to someone, and they are to busy playing on their phone to know that you even exist. I look at it this way, If you want to be with your phone, then stay at home. Am I wrong?
If I am, Oh well. I'm not going to apologize. I believe it is just plain rude. Whats really sad is they are teaching their children to be and do the same.
Well that's my soapbox for today. If I offended someone, I just will say, Hey, get over it. You know its the truth.
Haven't decided if Physical Therapy is helping me yet. Someday's I hurt so bad I can't move around. Other days, not so bad. Still have a few sessions to go. Will let you know.
Have a great day,week, and month.
Keep reading;
B.Anna Lee
I don't know about you, but I never dreamed that a 2014 would be in my vocabulary. I never got past the 1900's. How about the ones that are just being born. Wow, won't they be surprised to see a 2019, or maybe even 3000.
And what about all the gadgets that we have. Who would have thought that phones would be so small and you can call anywhere in the world with them. I remember the very rich had phones in their cars, but they were like a house phone. Now you don't even see the phone, just say, hey dial so-and -so. It does. It even shows you where you are going, will park your car, and tells you if a car is close. Wow, oh Wow. Don't even want to get started on what is in homes now. You don't have to cook, just say I want this to eat, and your stove does it for you. I think you still have to put it in/on the stove though. Will have to check that out, but there is so much that is boxed to eat, people are loosing the ability to cook regular meals. Just ask around if you don't believe me.....Hey, do you know how to make biscuits from scratch? They'd answer, I don't have to scratch, If you want a biscuit, just get them from the bakery or out of the refrigerator. Wonder if they know what baking powder is? Probably think its for your face...Oh I hope not.
It really hasn't been that long ago that ringer washers were used. Of course there were no dish washers. Oh my gosh, some would call that the Dark Ages. They were pretty good times though. Families did things together. They would have holidays, birthdays, and just plain get-to-gathers. No one would sit around playing with their phones all day. They would talk to each other, play ball, swim, or just have fun in general. It drives me up a wall to try to talk to someone, and they are to busy playing on their phone to know that you even exist. I look at it this way, If you want to be with your phone, then stay at home. Am I wrong?
If I am, Oh well. I'm not going to apologize. I believe it is just plain rude. Whats really sad is they are teaching their children to be and do the same.
Well that's my soapbox for today. If I offended someone, I just will say, Hey, get over it. You know its the truth.
Haven't decided if Physical Therapy is helping me yet. Someday's I hurt so bad I can't move around. Other days, not so bad. Still have a few sessions to go. Will let you know.
Have a great day,week, and month.
Keep reading;
B.Anna Lee
Monday, September 1, 2014
September the 1st. Why oh why does the time go faster and faster each day as we get older? Are we so involved in what we do, or maybe what we are not doing that the minutes just whiz by us?
I know if I don't get my work done in the morning, it seems to take longer or it just doesn't get done.
Think about it...Are you having the same problems as I am? I have talked to others, not even close to my age, and they tell me the same thing. Where does time go. Why does it take longer to do something that it used to take just a few minutes. Why did I have so much time when I was young? I always had plenty of time to clean house, take care of kids, go places, work in yard, and on and on. Now, I get up, have coffee, and find out that its almost noon. Then I fix something to eat and its almost time for bed. Well maybe not quite that fast, but you get the idea.
Are we getting lazy and just not interested in the world around us, or are we so involved in ourselves that we just don't care? I've been trying to figure that out too, but not having much luck.
I have found, though, that the more I HAVE to do, the more I get done. Sometimes I just have to talk myself into doing the 'whatever' first. Once I get started I generally finish that particular task. (well, most of the time).
I have the TV on a lot, but I'm not watching it. It's on to keep the outside noise down to a minimum. I'm not on the computer very much either. So where is my time going? Al right, if I have Sudoku, I can finish a book in two days. So its an addiction to me. But really, I can't even stay seated for a very long time, that's why it takes me so long to get my stories written. I always have something that is needed done, right then, or I have to get up and walk around to get the kinks out of my body. Yes I know, that's what's called procrastination.
I have gotten a lot of writing, or rewriting, done lately. And I'm kind of proud of myself. Just wish I could get something published again. I think every writer needs a little push or shove, (maybe both), once in awhile. With me, I need someone to push me and lots of encouragement. Sorry, I'm not one that can write a book every month. Might have a lot of stories in my head, but the body has to be willing too.
Another thing, it might be that I have little faith in myself. Yeah, I know, that's just being silly, and it's all in my head, right? That might be true, so if you have a cure for what ails my thoughts, please let me know, I would sure appreciate it.
I guess that's all for today. Will get back on the soap-box again, real soon, I hope.
Thanks for reading this, and please leave a comment. It might help my brain-waves. Everyone needs a pat- on-the-back once-in-awhile.
B.Anna Lee
I know if I don't get my work done in the morning, it seems to take longer or it just doesn't get done.
Think about it...Are you having the same problems as I am? I have talked to others, not even close to my age, and they tell me the same thing. Where does time go. Why does it take longer to do something that it used to take just a few minutes. Why did I have so much time when I was young? I always had plenty of time to clean house, take care of kids, go places, work in yard, and on and on. Now, I get up, have coffee, and find out that its almost noon. Then I fix something to eat and its almost time for bed. Well maybe not quite that fast, but you get the idea.
Are we getting lazy and just not interested in the world around us, or are we so involved in ourselves that we just don't care? I've been trying to figure that out too, but not having much luck.
I have found, though, that the more I HAVE to do, the more I get done. Sometimes I just have to talk myself into doing the 'whatever' first. Once I get started I generally finish that particular task. (well, most of the time).
I have the TV on a lot, but I'm not watching it. It's on to keep the outside noise down to a minimum. I'm not on the computer very much either. So where is my time going? Al right, if I have Sudoku, I can finish a book in two days. So its an addiction to me. But really, I can't even stay seated for a very long time, that's why it takes me so long to get my stories written. I always have something that is needed done, right then, or I have to get up and walk around to get the kinks out of my body. Yes I know, that's what's called procrastination.
I have gotten a lot of writing, or rewriting, done lately. And I'm kind of proud of myself. Just wish I could get something published again. I think every writer needs a little push or shove, (maybe both), once in awhile. With me, I need someone to push me and lots of encouragement. Sorry, I'm not one that can write a book every month. Might have a lot of stories in my head, but the body has to be willing too.
Another thing, it might be that I have little faith in myself. Yeah, I know, that's just being silly, and it's all in my head, right? That might be true, so if you have a cure for what ails my thoughts, please let me know, I would sure appreciate it.
I guess that's all for today. Will get back on the soap-box again, real soon, I hope.
Thanks for reading this, and please leave a comment. It might help my brain-waves. Everyone needs a pat- on-the-back once-in-awhile.
B.Anna Lee
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
After neglecting my writings and my blog, I will try to get back to what I like to do the most...Write.
Still moving, so to speak, Going through everything, getting rid of a lot of craft things. Hoping to concentrate on just a few things, like writing. I have been so neglectful of it, but when I do write, I can see all the mistakes (or most) that I did in the past. My writing has improved tremendously.
In my next novel, I think it will show the improvement, that is when I finish it.
It's very warm in my little house right now, so will get off the computer and try to cool off.
Hope all are staying warm, (where needed), (cool) if to warm. Stay safe and healthy.
B. Anna Lee
Still moving, so to speak, Going through everything, getting rid of a lot of craft things. Hoping to concentrate on just a few things, like writing. I have been so neglectful of it, but when I do write, I can see all the mistakes (or most) that I did in the past. My writing has improved tremendously.
In my next novel, I think it will show the improvement, that is when I finish it.
It's very warm in my little house right now, so will get off the computer and try to cool off.
Hope all are staying warm, (where needed), (cool) if to warm. Stay safe and healthy.
B. Anna Lee
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
February...I think this is the worst month out of the year for me. Especially around Valentine's Day. I get very moody, depressed, angry, feel completely useless and have anxiety. If there is anything else that makes this month bad, I probably have it too. I clean...clean out papers, books, music, just anything and everything that I don't want, well, might want it, but I seem to want to get rid of a lot. Which, in a way, could be a good thing, or bad, depends on how it's looked at. I think by getting rid of some things is away to try to get rid of the feelings. It hasn't worked. After I make a big mess, I then get mad at myself for doing it, I have to clean it up, but I will continue to do it.
People have a habit of just thinking you're a little 'down', but with me it's a lot more. You see, I had a son, that collapse and died in my arms for no apparent reason in 1967. It was just a few days before his first birthday. Yes it was 47 years ago, but it's something you never forget. Also, my faithful dog, Katie, died last year at this same time. I don't dwell on it, but the mind will not let me forget what I went through. Each year when I think I'm going to get through the month, it appears. No warning, it's just there.
Life goes on and loss is something we can't foresee or prevent you say, yes it does, I will admit that but what does a person do? Face it? That's a laugh. No matter how much you 'face it' it does not go away. After February, my mind seems to settle down into a normal thought period. Oh, there are times that I have anxiety, depression, moods, being angry, as do most people, but it goes away, and there is generally a reason behind these feelings.
Please don't try to lecture me, feel sorry for me or pretend you understand, I don't think you can understand how I feel unless you have gone through the same thing.
Sometimes I smash things, but I'm a lot better then I used to be, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to. Sometimes that's the only way to relieve the tension. Believe me when I say I have tried everything to control it. And yes, sometimes I feel a little better afterwards.
So until February is over, I will try to keep myself as busy as I possibly can. If not busy, I can sleep.
People have a habit of just thinking you're a little 'down', but with me it's a lot more. You see, I had a son, that collapse and died in my arms for no apparent reason in 1967. It was just a few days before his first birthday. Yes it was 47 years ago, but it's something you never forget. Also, my faithful dog, Katie, died last year at this same time. I don't dwell on it, but the mind will not let me forget what I went through. Each year when I think I'm going to get through the month, it appears. No warning, it's just there.
Life goes on and loss is something we can't foresee or prevent you say, yes it does, I will admit that but what does a person do? Face it? That's a laugh. No matter how much you 'face it' it does not go away. After February, my mind seems to settle down into a normal thought period. Oh, there are times that I have anxiety, depression, moods, being angry, as do most people, but it goes away, and there is generally a reason behind these feelings.
Please don't try to lecture me, feel sorry for me or pretend you understand, I don't think you can understand how I feel unless you have gone through the same thing.
Sometimes I smash things, but I'm a lot better then I used to be, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to. Sometimes that's the only way to relieve the tension. Believe me when I say I have tried everything to control it. And yes, sometimes I feel a little better afterwards.
So until February is over, I will try to keep myself as busy as I possibly can. If not busy, I can sleep.
Monday, February 10, 2014
2014...
I just can't believe the date. Who would have thought that there was such a thing as the 21st century.
Oh well. Sometimes I have a hard time believing there was a yesterday. What ever the day was. And by the way, where did today go? I don't think I got anything accomplished. Warmed up soup that I made yesterday. Divided it up and put it in freezer, along with beans I cooked a couple days ago. Washed dishes, dried clothes that were still damp, put them up. fed chickens, dogs, cats, cut out some coupons, was on my tablet awhile, looked through a couple of seed catalogs trying to talk myself into buying some different ones. And lets see--let the dogs in and out, got the eggs, put the chickens up about 5:40. Think that was all. Nothing very exciting. But there it went, the whole day. A
And don't ask about yesterday. It went about the same way. What did I do?. Oh, I know, it snowed. Think the snow froze the brain, because it is blank. When something is frozen doesn't it stay the way it froze? I think my brain is quite confused, I do believe that it erases itself every now-and-then.
while I'm thinking about it, I do remember about taking the vacuum apart to see why it wasn't working right. No plugs ups, cleaned the rollers, but it still doesn't want to suck right. Has to be something somewhere. Have you ever listened to your vacuum? It hums when you put your hand over the sucking thing, then when you take it of it kind of burps. Well maybe that's not really how it sounds, but you get the idea. Anyway, you can hear the plug let loose then get stuck again. But where is it? There isn't a bag, and all the filters are clean, so now what? Oh well, guess I'll keep trying to figure it out. Don't mind it, but getting down on the floor isn't much of a problem, it's getting up that's hard. But never fear, I'll get-r-done.
You ask, have I been writing? Well yes and no. I do a lot in my head, but just doesn't seem to get down on paper. Doesn't last that long in the brain to get it that far. Oh I have a lot of ideas, just no motivation. How does a person get the motivation they need to get things done? Seems like there are millions of other things that I need to do first, or during, and that's not good. I get distracted very easily. Painting? oh yes, painting is another problem I seem to have. Not the painting, its the finishing that gets by me. I want to, I just can't seem to get the motor going long enough to get it done. Hey don't laugh. I bet you have had similar problems. Some people just hate to admit that they have problems. Me, well yes, I have many and I'm not afraid to say it. Just don't like to.
With that little bit of new knowledge about me, I'll sign off for now.
Please feel free to laugh. I can't hear you anyway.
B.AnnaLee.
I just can't believe the date. Who would have thought that there was such a thing as the 21st century.
Oh well. Sometimes I have a hard time believing there was a yesterday. What ever the day was. And by the way, where did today go? I don't think I got anything accomplished. Warmed up soup that I made yesterday. Divided it up and put it in freezer, along with beans I cooked a couple days ago. Washed dishes, dried clothes that were still damp, put them up. fed chickens, dogs, cats, cut out some coupons, was on my tablet awhile, looked through a couple of seed catalogs trying to talk myself into buying some different ones. And lets see--let the dogs in and out, got the eggs, put the chickens up about 5:40. Think that was all. Nothing very exciting. But there it went, the whole day. A
And don't ask about yesterday. It went about the same way. What did I do?. Oh, I know, it snowed. Think the snow froze the brain, because it is blank. When something is frozen doesn't it stay the way it froze? I think my brain is quite confused, I do believe that it erases itself every now-and-then.
while I'm thinking about it, I do remember about taking the vacuum apart to see why it wasn't working right. No plugs ups, cleaned the rollers, but it still doesn't want to suck right. Has to be something somewhere. Have you ever listened to your vacuum? It hums when you put your hand over the sucking thing, then when you take it of it kind of burps. Well maybe that's not really how it sounds, but you get the idea. Anyway, you can hear the plug let loose then get stuck again. But where is it? There isn't a bag, and all the filters are clean, so now what? Oh well, guess I'll keep trying to figure it out. Don't mind it, but getting down on the floor isn't much of a problem, it's getting up that's hard. But never fear, I'll get-r-done.
You ask, have I been writing? Well yes and no. I do a lot in my head, but just doesn't seem to get down on paper. Doesn't last that long in the brain to get it that far. Oh I have a lot of ideas, just no motivation. How does a person get the motivation they need to get things done? Seems like there are millions of other things that I need to do first, or during, and that's not good. I get distracted very easily. Painting? oh yes, painting is another problem I seem to have. Not the painting, its the finishing that gets by me. I want to, I just can't seem to get the motor going long enough to get it done. Hey don't laugh. I bet you have had similar problems. Some people just hate to admit that they have problems. Me, well yes, I have many and I'm not afraid to say it. Just don't like to.
With that little bit of new knowledge about me, I'll sign off for now.
Please feel free to laugh. I can't hear you anyway.
B.AnnaLee.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014 Can you believe it? Who knew that so many years would fly by so fast. Some I can't even remember. Did they really exist?
Have been procrastinating on my novel/novels. All the thoughts are there, even wrote a bit in long hand, just can't seem to get them in order. Sometime I have second thoughts about writing. Maybe that's my problem. Well, to tell the truth, that probably isn't the only one.
I'm about to start a new story. Can't seem to get the others finished, so why beat myself up about them. Maybe this new one will help the brain to get working again. I think it needs to be re-vitalized some how, so the other stories can surface. And then, it might not work at all and the new one will get buried with the others. Anyone know of a cure for procrastination? And please don't say, JUST DO IT. Believe me, that doesn't work either.
Read an article in an old Writer's magazine I saved. The author had the same problem as I do. She eventually got herself back into the groove of writing, but it wasn't easy. It's good to know that I'm not the only one out there. Recognized writers have problems too.
Sometimes I read all the accomplishments that other writers have done, and I wonder...HOW do they find the time? I get up early enough, (not at 4 or 5 in the morning though). That's when they start writing. I need my sleep. (maybe they don't require any). They write till 10 or three in the afternoon, eat something and continue writing. I wonder who cooks their food or clean their houses. Maybe I can get someone to do everything for me. Naw, just won't happen. I need to get off my duff and move now and then. Could you imagine how big my bottom would be? No, don't even try. It's big enough already.
Well here's hoping that this new year will bring everyone good health, and prosperity. May the sun always shine on you.
B. Anna Lee
Have been procrastinating on my novel/novels. All the thoughts are there, even wrote a bit in long hand, just can't seem to get them in order. Sometime I have second thoughts about writing. Maybe that's my problem. Well, to tell the truth, that probably isn't the only one.
I'm about to start a new story. Can't seem to get the others finished, so why beat myself up about them. Maybe this new one will help the brain to get working again. I think it needs to be re-vitalized some how, so the other stories can surface. And then, it might not work at all and the new one will get buried with the others. Anyone know of a cure for procrastination? And please don't say, JUST DO IT. Believe me, that doesn't work either.
Read an article in an old Writer's magazine I saved. The author had the same problem as I do. She eventually got herself back into the groove of writing, but it wasn't easy. It's good to know that I'm not the only one out there. Recognized writers have problems too.
Sometimes I read all the accomplishments that other writers have done, and I wonder...HOW do they find the time? I get up early enough, (not at 4 or 5 in the morning though). That's when they start writing. I need my sleep. (maybe they don't require any). They write till 10 or three in the afternoon, eat something and continue writing. I wonder who cooks their food or clean their houses. Maybe I can get someone to do everything for me. Naw, just won't happen. I need to get off my duff and move now and then. Could you imagine how big my bottom would be? No, don't even try. It's big enough already.
Well here's hoping that this new year will bring everyone good health, and prosperity. May the sun always shine on you.
B. Anna Lee
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